I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
