We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
