She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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