I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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