i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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