Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
