you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
