Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
