if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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