You work out of a Hotel?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
