That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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