"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
