My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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