I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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