Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
