So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
