Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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