How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
