I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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