He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
