Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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