im drinking this country out of the recession.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
