I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
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you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.