im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's shark week go big or go home
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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