# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
