Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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