your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
