I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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