You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
