I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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