Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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