this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
