He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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