Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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