Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
