she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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