She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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