why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize