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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
