im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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