Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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