my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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