I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize