hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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