Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
