shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
