So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
