my text book just quoted the cookie monster
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
