there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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