Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
