haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
