Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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