Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
