I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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