another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize
