I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize