cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
