those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
