I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
