Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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