just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
