There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
