I hate all girls vehemently.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
