Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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