ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So squirting runs in the family.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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