My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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